Wounds: Addictions/Compulsive Behavior Control Depression Divorced Families Domestic Substance Abuse Domestic Violence Eating Disorders Grief Loneliness Family/Marriage/Relationships Pornography Rage/Anger Sexual Abuse Singleness Suicide

Addiction is defined as giving oneself up to a strong habit. Compulsive means to be driven by a force. So‚ addictive compulsive behavior means we lose our identity within a force which bends us to choose unhealthy behaviors that harm not only us but also those close to us. I believe there are complex reasons people become addictive and compulsive. These reasons can be made up of our personal conscious and subconscious choices and the level and type of emotional woundedness we may have from our past. Which came first‚ the choice to enter addictive‚ unhealthy behavior or the emotional wounds which usually lead to addictive‚ unhealthy behavior? Perhaps it is a little of both. Nevertheless‚ I want to offer practical steps to acknowledge‚ work through‚ stop and be free from addictive‚ compulsive behaviors.

I have an intense type of personality where if I do something I do it with all my heart‚ which is not necessarily a bad thing if done with a healthy balance. Yet‚ there was always an element of an unhealthy extreme mixed in with whatever I did. In my baseball career I lived and breathed baseball to the point of obsession. With weightlifting and exercise I crossed the line too. Then‚ with Christianity I slipped into legalism‚ which can be defined as spiritual addiction. Yes‚ that's right! A person can become a spiritual addict and that is what I was for a few years until I realized it and got help. A spiritual addict is someone who usually interprets things from a "hyper-spiritual" perspective that is not based in reality. They see deep‚ spiritual truths behind every circumstance and usually have a harsh‚ black and white‚ rules and regulations type of "spirituality." Grace is in their head not in their heart. This is exactly how I used to be. You know why? Because I used my spirituality as a means to avoid dealing with the emotional pain from my past. This is the root of most if not all addictive compulsive behaviors…an attempt to stay one step ahead of our emotional pain by transferring our pain to an addictive compulsive behavior. Addictions are an attempt to "control" our hidden‚ repressed emotional pain. Why do some people vacuum their carpet 5 times per day? Because it is dirty? No. They are doing something to occupy their mind and emotions as a means to avoid and escape the reality of their inner pain. Addictive compulsive behaviors are just the symptom. Unresolved emotional wounds usually lie beneath all the unhealthy behaviors and activities. These wounds contain anger‚ grief‚ depression‚ etc.‚ and it is these hidden emotions which fuel and are the force behind addictions. So‚ when the pain of our unresolved emotional wounds begin to surface we decide to choose either the healthy route and deal with the wound or the unhealthy route by "stuffing" the pain with our addictive compulsive behavior. If we stuff the pain it will soon surface again and this becomes a sick cycle called addictive compulsive behavior. I hope you will choose the healthy route!

Do you have any addictive‚ compulsive behaviors and/or thoughts? If so you are not alone. I spent a large part of my teenage and adult life stuck in compulsive behaviors. The good news is I have discovered the way out and want to share it with you! The following are some things that have helped me become much more healthy and balanced. Perhaps they can help you too if applied.

• Ask Jesus Christ to reveal any addictive‚ compulsive behaviors. You probably‚ to some degree‚ know what they are already. Pray for His help and guidance in how to work through it.
• Seek out a Professional Christian Counselor and/or Support Group where it will be safe to talk about such personal things. Talking openly about our addictive compulsive behaviors and our emotional pain begins to empty the "tank" of pain we have had inside for such a long time. This helps vent the "pressure" that plays a major part in us choosing to do addictive‚ compulsive things.
• Stop the behaviors and thoughts by refocusing on other healthy things. We need to reprogram our mind‚ emotions and actions and erase the old tapes that have played for so long.
• Be patient with ourselves as it will take time to heal and put to death our addictions. We may stumble sometimes. Yet‚ God's grace is there to help us get back up and move forward.