Wounds: Addictions/Compulsive Behavior Control Depression Divorced Families Domestic Substance Abuse Domestic Violence Eating Disorders Grief Loneliness Family/Marriage/Relationships Pornography Rage/Anger Sexual Abuse Singleness Suicide

Substance abuse in a family unit‚ if not stopped‚ will eventually ruin the family internally and externally. The alcohol problem in my family did not stop‚ therefore our family was ruined. I don't share this to shame or seek revenge on my dad but to rather offer a platform of connection and personal understanding to others who had a similar family background. The consequences of our decisions become public domain for good or evil. The consequences of choices we make will come back to honor us or bite us. I am now using the evil done to me to help others and myself in the name of Jesus Christ‚ my Savior and Lord.

I am what they call an "Adult Child of an Alcoholic." This was the initial unresolved issue God revealed to me-my dad's alcoholism. The alcoholism damaged me by planting seeds of pain and bent me towards a future that included a distorted and wounded decision making system where it was absolutely normal to choose alcohol and drugs. And that is what I did fairly heavily through high school and early college…alcohol and drugs. Children of alcoholics commonly end up depressed‚ angry and messed up somehow. Did you know a person with an alcoholic parent is 4 times more likely to become alcoholics themselves? Is it genetics? No‚ I don't think it is. I think we learn positives and negatives from our parents‚ modeling what they do if not even aware of it. The child of an alcoholic is much more likely to become an alcoholic simply because they do what they caught and were taught. Alcohol and drugs is how pain and life are dealt with in the lives of substance abusers. This is what their children see and learn. Later on those kids‚ now adults‚ begin sensing on some level the painful sprouting and surfacing of the sin of alcoholism that was driven onto and into them. How will they usually respond to this sprouting pain? The only way they know how. The only way modeled to them to that point. They will most likely choose substance abuse or some other compulsive behavior to mask and escape the pain. They may well make rebellious choices saturated with substance abuse. Whether Christian or not the child of an alcoholic will most likely respond to the sprouting damage through a foggy‚ pain filled decision making process. We choose‚ consciously or unconsciously‚ to cross that foggy line and begin our own sin of personal substance abuse and/or other compulsive‚ unhealthy behaviors. By deflecting and ignoring the surfacing pain of having of having an alcoholic parent we choose to remain in the damage. Consequently‚ we may well pass the damage of domestic alcoholism to others‚ especially our own children‚ because we were never willing to get help‚ feel the pain‚ and deal with the deeply buried issues of how our alcoholic parent hurt us with their substance abuse and addiction.

Here we are! The time is now to connect our past with the present and future. Hard choices must be made to either get help or stay in denial‚ compressing the pain and increasing the chances of damaging others close to us. Are you the child or an alcoholic or drug addict? If so‚ you and I were not responsible for the damage they did to us. We were innocent children. But‚ now as adults we become responsible for our own decisions and actions. We can no longer allow past damage to control us‚ playing unhealthy roles in our decisions. We need to begin living consciously‚ learning why we do some of the things we do. There is hope for Adult Children of Alcoholics! With Jesus Christ we can be liberated from the quirks‚ compulsions and addictions we somehow may enter into as a result of foggy choices stemming from a family background of substance abuse. God loves you and so do we! Please choose to get help! Thanks to my Lord Jesus Christ for working in me by changing my desires so that I could begin making healthy choices to stop using alcohol and drugs in my own life which then led to the core issue of healing from the damage of my dad's alcoholism.

The following are some things that have helped myself and others work through and heal from family substance abuse.

• Ask Jesus Christ to come into the wounds. Acknowledging the fact that the alcohol and/or drug use in our family damaged us is the first step to freedom and healing. Asking Jesus Christ into our wounds brings spiritual power‚ enabling us to better understand how we were wounded and what we need to do to get help.
• Seek out a trusted person to talk to. Those of us who are Adult Children of Alcoholics and/or Drug Addicts need safe people to talk with. Pray and find a Professional Christian Counselor‚ support group‚ trusted friends‚ etc. You will discover like I did that simply talking about the pain connected to our family substance abuse helps alot!
• Stop our own substance abuse. It is very common for those who come from a family with substance abuse to begin using alcohol and/or drugs ourselves. Please stop using before something dangerous happens! You will probably need to have the help and accountability of others to stop drinking or taking drugs. Stop drinking and/or using drugs and get help today! There is hope‚ especially for those who turn to Jesus Christ!