Domestic Violence: Door of Rage

BOOM! The large‚ thick window in our front door literally shattered with explosive noise. I was around 10 years old and sleeping on the couch when awakened by this shocking intrusion. Family members were frantically attempting to discover what had happened. In my bare feet, I crept cautiously to the front door‚ avoiding all the broken glass. I looked out the broken door and saw the person who did this on the front porch. Initially, it did not register in my mind who it was as I was much too young to process the shock of what was happening. It was my dad standing on the front porch with flakes of snow falling all around him. It was winter. That event‚ that night in Moberly‚ Missouri‚ is engraved in my memory forever.

The purpose of telling this story is not to shame or seek revenge on my dad. Through years of healing, and through the forgiving power of Jesus Christ, I have released and forgiven my dad. I tell this story to connect with others and let them know they are not alone in their world of domestic violence and rage.

My dad never physically hit or abused me. Yet‚ the violence and destruction of things on several occasions was deeply damaging. Because of my dad’s chronic bouts of rage‚ mostly induced by alcohol‚ my mom moved with my brother and me to Las Cruces‚ New Mexico for safety. It took a lot of courage for my mom to do that. Who knows what would have happened if we had stayed?

Classic domestic violence is usually defined as being physically assaulted by a family member. Because I wasn’t physically assaulted, I cannot relate to you if that is what happened to you. But the storms of rage I witnessed are classified as domestic violence. If you grew up in a home where you were physically abused and/or witnessed violent and rage-filled behavior‚ then you are probably connecting with my words. I am sorry this happened to you! You deserved much better, and so did I.

Are you hurting because you grew up in the midst of domestic violence? Please seek help and review the “Next Steps” on the Wounded Hearts homepage. God loves you, and so do we. Gifted people are waiting to walk by your side as you begin your journey of healing from the wounds of domestic violence. The first step is yours. Have the courage to take it.